Not all deaths need to happen... but we're glad they did anyway. Say hello, and goodbye, the pelvis-banger surrounded by hundreds of head-banger, the female rapper who got rapped by getting the wheels, the chef who didn't get whipped... but got a bad case of whiplash, the bouncer who picked the wrong fight (literally), the three knuckle-head-no-brains who got died experimenting, the annoying regular woman who got hot-dogged and how can we forget the epic story about the party-host who mouthed off messed with the special ops soldier and got the but of his gun. Why do we like deaths? Because without it, we don't have these freaking stories!


Death # Event Name Date Place Circumstances of Death
440 Pelvis Banger September 16, 2005 State College, Pennsylvania

A man attempts to bring a hand gun to a concert and assassinate the lead singer of the band. He notices security is cavity searching people by checking them. He finds port a potty and makes a plan. He grabs his knife and cuts open his leg, pulls out his leg-flesh, sticks the gun in his leg and sews it up. He approaches the security but gets dizzy from losing massive amounts of blood from cutting his leg open. He trips after getting dizzy and lands on the ground. The impact from the landing causes the gun to go off in his leg. Pointed upwards in his leg, the bullet goes through his leg and breaks his pelvis. The bone fragments impale his abdomen and the man dies of massive internal bleeding and septic shock.

833 Es-ca-Later! August 19, 2011 Lexington, Kentucky A female-rapper goes to the mall and blocks the escalator-carpet. After blocking 126 people, one of the handicap people hits the female-rapper with his electric wheel chair. The female-rapper falls down and her bling-necklace gets tangled in the end of the escalator-carpet. She is then strangled, dying in less then a minute do to the pull being so tight it breaks her neck.
602 Whip-Lash June 19, 2005 Missoula, Montana A chef at a fancy restaurant, on a daily-basis, deliberately messes up food. On this occasion he messes up the mayor's dish and the restaurant boss and sues-chef get angry. They both chase the cook around the kitchen. After almost falling on knifes and other silver wear, in an oven, on a stove, in burning grease, hot water, getting caught in a meat-grinder, falling on the floor, getting caught by the two men, the chef slips on some grease and water, and lands with is head hitting the counter, chin first. The chef dies of whiplash.
808 U.F.C. Got Owned! May 18, 2008 Australian Outback A bouncer who usually beats up people he doesn't want getting in, gets in a fight with a professional fighter. The fighter punches the bouncer right in the face, sending the cartridge of his nose into his brain, killing him instantly from brain hemorrhage.
154 Balloon-attics Play With A**-Oline April 18, 2002 Newark, New Jersey Three no-brains try an experiment. They will fill a giant container of water, fill a balloon of gasoline, and make the balloon opening stay open while the bottom is in the water and throw a lit-cigarette in the balloon. The cigarette ignites the gasoline, pops the balloon, sends water into the containers wall and shatters the container. The three men dies of 4th degree burns from the gasoline-heated-water, blown off their skins from the fire-explosion, and massive trauma from the metal-container shrapnel, killing them instantly.
588 Dynamite November 21, 2008 Upper Peninsula, Michigan A hunter and his dog go hunting while a woman disturbs them. The woman throws a quarter stick of dynamite behind a rock next to them. The dynamite goes off and the shell shocking the hunter and his dog. The force sends the dog flying, but unharmed. The dog lands on the woman's head, cracking her skull and breaking her neck, killing her instantly.
909 Special Forces (Of Nature!) June 30, 2009 San Francisco, California A man throws a party so wild, the police are unable to control the armed-drug addicted-party hosts. The special forces are called in and the party hosts are being taken captive one by one. The part host mouths-off a special forces soldier and the soldier gun-whips him in the temple. The gun-whip cracked the mans temple, hit his brain, and twisted the man's neck, breaking it, killing the party host instantly.

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