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DescriptionEdit

A political commentator sees his future; a drunk man goes for a spin; a woman with a big gun; bank robbers get cut down.

DeathsEdit

Death # Event Name Date Of Death Location Circumstances of Death
505 Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (aka Today's Top Story: YOU'RE DEAD!) May 30, 1996 Washington, D.C. A notoriously offensive conservative political commentator comes home and logs on to Facebook, only to see his status is "deceased." He apparently died of several strokes and a heart attack from reading negative comments about his death. He reads the negative comments about his death and suffers several strokes and a heart attack.
973 Prolapse Collapse November 14, 2000 Peoria, Illinois A gay man who enjoys receiving rough anal sex wakes up with a serious prolapse, but goes to the bathroom instead of the hospital. He strains to defecate, which causes his intestines to be expelled and separated from his body.
656 Dead Meat Spin July 28, 1994 Lawrence, Kansas Two drunk men find an old merry-go-round in an abandoned park and try to spin each other dizzy. One man ties his friend down on the ride, then winds some 200 feet of rope around before tying the end to his truck's trailer hitch. He speeds away causing the rope to spin the ride. The spinning causes the blood to rush to the tied man's head which kills him from hemorrhages and pressure.
477 Big Balled (aka Wrecking Balled) May 21, 1999 Detroit, Michigan The foreman of a demolition crew is inside a building being demolished. A wrecking ball suddenly crashes into the wall near him. He grabs onto the ball, which carries him out of the building then back into the wall, crushing him.
508 Flop Shot April 6, 2002 Albuquerque, New Mexico A pornographic actress who specializes in girls-with-guns fetish videos gets her chance to try a new .750 caliber hand gun. She shoots the gun, but its recoil causes it to fly back and hit her head above her protective goggles. The force of the blow is enough to give her a depressed skull fracture that kills her.
877 Chopper Sue (aka Scrambled Dregs) June 11, 2001 Chicago, Illinois A rookie police helicopter pilot is chasing a group of bank robbers who stop their car to make a run across a field to a waiting boat. The pilot swoops down to intercept them, but he comes in low enough and at an angle that causes his main rotor to chop the robbers into pieces. He was able to land his helicopter despite damage to the rotor.
592 In Deep Sh**t (aka Wallowing in Corpulence) August 19, 1997 Dublin, Ireland A corrupt governor is ambushed by a farmer who lost his land because the governor is allowing the construction of a highway through it. The farmer brought his tractor and a fertilizer spreader to the governor's home to spray 1000 pounds of pig excrement on him. The governor suffocates from the weight of the fertilizer, and from several large chunks getting into his throat.

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