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Description

What's better than life itself? Death of course! And with these idiots, the fun is endless. There's the nerd that never "saw" it coming, the catholic school teacher that got overruled, the diver that hit his head, and kleptomaniac that saw the light... bulb. These and many other ways are sure to be the life of the party - and the death!

DeathsEdit

Death # Event Name Date Place Circumstances of Death
176 Scuba Die November 17, 2008 Seattle, WA A scuba diver floats toward the surface at a rapid pace, unaware that the boat has drifted over him. When he finally hits the surface, his head slams into the hull of the boat, shattering his skull.
658 Treaded Mill March 11, 2008 Lafayette, LA A man using a treadmill in a public gym accidentally bumps the speed increase button. When the force causes him to fly backward, his head slams into a metal barbell causing massive brain hemorrhaging.
36 Cold Stoned 162 B.C Cairo, Egypt An ancient method of torture involved large stones being tied to the victims feet, and tossing them into deep water. As water pressure increased, water quickly rushed into the body, filling the lungs and stomach, and causing them to burst open.
748 Chewed Off January 12, 1961 Tuscaloosa, AL The condescending wife of a habitual tobacco chewer accidentally takes a sip out of the bottle he's using to spit in, and develops severe mononucleosis.
636 Unsecured Measures August 4, 1983 Lake Land, FL A teacher that slapped students with rulers as a form of discipline gets the ruler stolen from her by another student. When the student attempts to hit the teacher with it, she ducks, but the sharp edge of the ruler lacerates her carotid artery.
153 Buzz Killed December 12, 2002 York, PA A bossy nerd breaks into the high school shop storeroom to steal power tools. Upon tripping over a power cord, he severs his hand on a still band saw. In a frenzy, he accidentally turns it on, and the band saw slices through his arm, causing death from blood loss within seconds.
445 Glass Holed April 8, 2000 Fort Wayne, IN A kleptomaniac steals a light bulb from an elevator and puts it in his pocket. In the hallway, he falls and the light bulb gets crushed into his abdomen, causing him to bleed to death.

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